First Day of Women's Physical Therapy

Today I had my first "Women's" physical therapy. Thank goodness the therapist was a woman. We got to know each other a little bit, she talked to me about the Cauda Equina. Of course, she has no idea what it is, so she'll do research. I let her know that I am still numb in the saddle area, and she said okay. I had also called on Tuesday to ask if I could still come in for the Women's health visit because I had begun my period. So, here I am menstruating, and meeting the new therapist. She asks me to take off my bottoms and lie on the table. Then proceeds to spend the next 45 minutes with her fingers either in my vagina, or in my rectum. She asks me if I can feel either, I tell her no. She asks if I can squeeze, I try. She says that she can feel me squeezing, but sometimes she says that when I'm not squeezing. I'll see her again next week.

I also had my second visit for PT on my left leg. We continue working on balance, and setting my left foot down with a normal pressure instead of slamming it down. A lot of this reminds me of when I had a personal trainer at the gym. Its just basically someone forcing me to work out. It's funny though when I'm riding the exercise bike, because my left foot keeps slipping out. It doesn't matter how tight they have the strap, it just doesn't not want to stay on the foot grip.

After the therapy I am meeting with one of my new team members for brunch. We'll be starting school shortly, and I'll be teaching 3rd grade this year. I stop to use the restroom when we get to the restaurant, and as it turns out I've had a small bowel accident. Thankfully though, I've been carrying extra Depends and wipes with me. So I clean up and head out and have a nice lunch with Cindy.

Oops...

It was so nice to sleep in my bed last night. Even if I didn't get to sleep on my stomach like I always do. The neurosurgeon said no more stomach sleeping, that it is bad for my back. So, I took Lynn's advice and laid on my side with a pillow in front of me, and another between my knees. I slept pretty well, and managed to make it to the bathroom with a full bladder, no accident. We spent the day watching some t.v., its uncomfortable for me to sit on my bottom, because it stretches the skin on my back, so I curl on my side with a pillow between my knees. I take the Percocet every 4 hours and it knocks me out! I end up doing a lot of sleeping off and on. Once, I wake up and I feel like I have to go to the bathroom and have a bowel movement, but I don't make it to the bathroom. One of the side effects of the Cauda Equina Sydnrome is that I don't currently have control over my sphincter muscle. I can feel when my bladder and bowels are full, but I can't always control them. So, as much as I hate to do it, I send Cody out to buy some Depends. While he is out the chiropractor calls to find out how I am doing. I'm on Percocet and not thinking clearly. I can't remember the name of the syndrome, so I don't tell him. I let him know that I am still numb and uncomfortable in my pelvic region and that I do not have control over my bladder and bowels like I used to. He asks that I keep him updated and let him know if there is anything that I need. What I need is to be back to the way that I used to be, but I don't see that happening for awhile. Cody gets home and I try out some of my new Depends underwear. It sucks that I'm 34 and wearing diapers again, but if it means I can sit on my furniture instead of staying on the toilet, then I guess it will work. I decide since I've already talked to the chiropractor that it's time to talk to my P.A.  at the Tempe Doctor's office and let her know about the major ball dropping that happened. I call and leave a message that I need to talk to her, not her nurse, but my P.A. herself, and to please have her call me when she can that day. A little later I receive a call back from her, she asks how the surgery went and how I'm feeling and I let her know (Cody had called her office while I was in surgery to let them know I was having it). I let her know that I had called her several times a day on Tuesday and Wednesday with my concerns about being numb and that I asked for a call back. She looks in my file and says that the only note there was is from Tuesday saying I asked about my x-ray results from the previous week. I ask if she even got my call from today, and she said no, she was just wanting to check on me. I let her know that I have been with this practice for 14 years, and even though I moved across town I continued to stay with that office because I trusted them, and genuinely enjoyed the doctors there. Having had this major miscommunication with the office staff and them not properly passing on messages is serious, and I let her know that I'm not sure I will be continuing with their practice because this misstep almost cost me the use of my legs. She says that she understands and she puts me on hold for a moment while she informs the Doctor/Practice Owner of the ball dropping. He is upset as well. The rest of the day goes by pretty uneventfully, except for the unfortunate news that Maurice Sendak (author of Where the Wild Things Are) has passed away.

Surgery Day

I luck out and get to have an early surgery. Cody spent the night with me, and Donna came back. They want me completed naked, which I am not comfortable with because I am menstruating. They tell me I can wear some special mesh underwear (think fishnet tights) and their special sanitary napkin. I meet the neurosurgeon and he tells me that he is going to remove my L5 disc because it has herniated and it is pressing on the lumbar sac and compressing the nerves that control the lower half of my body, including my legs, bladder and bowels. I have something called Cauda Equina Syndrome, which is why there was the numbness in the saddle area (it is one of the tell tale symptoms for the syndrome). I, like the idiot that I am, ask how long I'll be out of work after (I'm thinking of my appendectomy where I was only out a week). He tells me that I'll be out for several weeks. I start to cry, thinking of all I'll miss, because that's the end of the year. I tell Cody he has to call Lynn and request some subs, I need Mrs. Grasso or Mrs. Pearson, or someone who is going to take care of my kids. Donna tells me that she will keep my mom updated. Then they wheel me away. The next thing I know I'm waking up in a bigger room, and I have no undies (not even the fishnet guys!) First order of business is I NEED underwear. Cody has gone while I was in post-op and given Castro his insulin for the morning, but Donna is still with me. I'm allowed some ice chips, and I'm so thirsty. After a little while the neurosurgeon comes to visit. He says that the surgery went well. The disc was the 2nd or 3rd largest he has ever removed and he even took a picture (it's graphic) and emailed it to me. He said if I had waited for a day or more I would have likely been paralyzed from the waist down. He tells me that with any luck if I get up and walking around today that I can go home tomorrow. I have to be able to pee on my own (they have me on a catheter). Cody brings my iPad, a magazine, a book, and a picture of Castro on his phone. Donna stays until early evening, we ask the nurse if I can get up and take a walk (which is what the neurosurgeon wanted me to do) but she says there is no order for a back brace, and she can't take the chance that I hurt myself walking without a brace, so no walking for tonight. They also won't remove the catheter. Which means I need to practice walking and peeing tomorrow if I want to go home tomorrow. Donna leaves to go spend some time with Gordon, and Cody stays the night (after he goes home to give Castro his insulin).